Positivity

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Soon after moving to the countryside with my then new partner and my kids I had some rather difficult years.  Life didn’t turn out as I had expected and for a while I felt trapped in a life I hadn’t wanted and my thinking and feeling were focused on everything that had gone wrong or was not as I wanted it. I was hurting myself with this attitude.

It took me a while to understand that self-pity was not helping me to feel better or to adjust to circumstances I couldn’t change. But slowly I began to focus my mind on things that were good. My boys were developing fine, even though they didn’t like living in the countryside. There was no need to feel guilty all the time about dragging them out here! I had a partner I could rely on and who had been able to take my mood swings. I was living in a nice house and had a lovely garden. Within a few minutes I could take a walk through the woods and enjoy nature. I had not many, but some very good friends. I had a family, I was not alone, and I had a job I really loved.

Things haven’t really changed since I got into that crisis, but I have learned to develop a positive attitude towards life by focusing on the positive aspects of every situation and trying to find ways to make the best out of not so good ones.  Take commuting for example. It is not nice to drive two hours each way to get to work. Not, because it is that far to Hamburg, but because of traffic jams. I have learned to use the time during a standstill to fix my nails, practice deep breathing, and listen to good music. In the evening I ring friends and family (I got hands-free in the car), and thus keep in touch with everyone.

It is up to each and every one to decide whether they want to focus on the negative or the positive. Developing an attitude of positivity doesn’t mean to suppress negative feelings or to deny problems and bad things. It means accepting the negative but instead of dwelling on it deliberately focusing the mind on the positive aspects. If there are no positive aspects to be found a positive attitude can be having faith or trust in life that something positive will arise from the negative:  insights, inner growth or something positive that we cannot foresee right now.

 I have chosen positivity and since I have started practicing it I have become happier every day and grateful for all the gifts life has given me. I know that there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel and that even when everything looks bleak, like the frozen ground in winter, there is something good and positive growing, showing itself when the time is right.